This was actually a lil journal/blog written three and a half years ago during my sophomore year of high school…I have tweaked it a lil since my 15-year-old self struggled with articulating (and I still do!)…this was a powerful moment in which I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me. Hope you get something out of this!
January 17, 2011….happy birthday Brooke (:
Right now, I feel so…happy and filled with God’s love. It’s indescribable. The only way I could describe it…is to say it’s like those moments where you have those random upbeats and surges of happiness just flowing through you and you don’t know why. (:
As cliche as it sounds, God has a plan for you, yes YOU. Now, before you jump the gun and think to yourself, “well, God doesn’t have plans for me,” or, “God’s too busy thinking about someone else,” just wait and hear me out. I’m sure you’ve wondered or contemplated the fact that yes, you are here on this earth, and no, you don’t know why. That’s okay not to know why, but I will say that if God stopped thinking of you even for a split millisecond, you would cease to exist! Aside from that, you have an affect on everyone around you and vice versa. There’s a reason for it. There has to be… Now as far as this “plan,” I in-vision God having this “planner” in which He has prepared all of His wonderful plans and ideas in. There’s something for every day of every month and every year, at different times and possibly the same time. He has plans for every. single. person. “You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book” (Psalm 139: 15-16). He hasn’t forgotten about anyone or made anyone a second priority. And He has certainly not forgotten about you! Let’s say He has scheduled you for something, an “appointment” you could call it. That doesn’t mean you will show up. That doesn’t mean that you will follow through with that activity or calling from God. But He does know what is best and He does know what will make you truly happy (I will go more in depth about this later). And even though He may have called you to do something, keep in mind that someone else may be called to a different vocation.
Now, you may be wondering, “how do I know if and/or when God is speaking to me?” God is constantly guiding you whether you realize it or not. He always has something to say. Now, it may not be in a “booming” voice coming from the heavens or perhaps lightening from the sky…but He is constantly sending out signs and leading you toward your path. They can be signs through people. Maybe a friend said something that stuck out and you needed to hear that message. Signs can be through events and trials. Maybe you learned a valuable lesson after struggling with an illness through the family or even just schoolwork. Signs can be through something beautiful, such as a wedding or a sunset. Whatever they may be, these signs will guide you to this amazing plan of His (I will continue to say this). Again, I in-vision this “plan” as this beautiful building in which He is the contractor or the architect. Cheesy, right? Bear with me now… God will lead you to it and He will start you off by placing that base or foundation of the building. These signs will lead you down the path to follow and it’s up to YOU not to get distracted by other things. Someone such as the devil himself, loves to mislead those, especially those who are following God. It may be a hot day walking down that “path” and the devil might tempt you with his own sign saying there’s free water a block down another path. But don’t listen to him; listen to God. The devil’s signs are traps and leave you with nothing or temporary happiness. That “free water” may end up being just one drop of water, whereas God has more in store for you. He will not only give you a surplus of water, or what you need, but He will also give you more. He will give you what is best for you and what will make you happiest.
No one said it would be easy. You have to be willing to keep your eyes, mind, soul, and heart open for what God has to say or you may miss an important opportunity or calling. Keep in mind, it is up to you not to give up while discerning what His will for you is. Stay on that path and do your best to focus. He will be there cheering you on and picking you up when you fall. He will wipe every bead of sweat away and every tear you shed. “One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes” (Revelation 21:3-4). You will eventually discover His amazing plan. Once you finally arrive (or see what His calling is for you), He will lay out the building plan, the instructions, the blueprint. And like I say all the time, it is up to YOU to finish it off. He will ALWAYS be there supervising. He’ll never let you out of His sight. He’ll catch you if you fall at higher heights.
Now, trusting God that He won’t fail you or leave you is hard. I can admit to that from my own personal experience. You have to be willing say, “let Your will be done, and not mine.” You may not like His choice of “color” for a specific room or “how that room is designed,” but it’s up to Him first because He knows what’s best for you. Like I said, He’s got this wonderful plan for you and everyone. “My plan for your future has always been filled with hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). What may be best for you, may not be best for someone else. So, maybe He knows you struggle a little more than others, so He will make that “house” a little more accessible. Or maybe He sees you’re struggling, but He may want to challenge you. Whatever it may be, it is His will and let His will be done and not yours.
It’s always up to God first because He knows everything and what’s best for everyone. He even “planned you before you were made and born (Psalm 139).” “He knew you before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5).” But after God, it’s pretty much up to you. No, not up to you make your input or decisions on changing the plan of the house, but to finish that plan of His. Yes, it is great to have preferences and opinions…those desires are placed in your heart for a reason, but it is when we go against God’s will that we truly find ourselves not satisfied or happy.
He’s so excited for you and wants you to be happy. Yes, happy! So, stop looking for that happiness in other people or other things. Don’t get me wrong, people can make us happy and so can “things,” but they will never fully satisfy us. Only God can do that. (: He’s trying to show you what He has in store for you, but you have to let Him. He will always knock on your door, but He won’t barge in. He is a gentleman after all, so He will always be waiting for you. You have to open that door. You may try to run away from Him and lock yourself away from Him and the world, but He will still be waiting at the door. He will still be waiting for you to run to Him. “I am waiting for you” (Luke 15:11-32). God will always come to you no matter what, but you have to be willing to let Him come further and go to Him even when you’re feeling down and unloved. “He will be that father that no earthly father could ever be and give you what no earthly father could ever give you (Matthew 7:11).” You can’t stay hidden forever. You need love. And love is what God has. Love is what God is. Love is what He’s trying to show YOU (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13). “I will never stop doing good to you” (Jeremiah 32:40).
Jesus loves YOU…and every one of you! Even if you aren’t the best and make a mistake…He’ll forgive you ONLY if you’re truly sorry and are willing to repent. It does not matter how bad the sin is…God is a merciful and forgiving Father. He doesn’t look at you for only your sins. He has much hope in you. “And to tell you that I am not counting your sins” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). He’s is calling you home, to Heaven, to be with Him and His son Jesus Christ. “Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen” (Luke 15:7). “I have always been Father, and will always be Father” (Ephesians 3:14-15). He will always be your Father and will ALWAYS love YOU! “My question is…Will you be my child?” (John 1:12-13). Like I said, He’s waiting for you.
P.S.- Here is a great website in which I read this beautiful letter. It’s kinda like God’s letter to you. Check it out. (: